High five little guy!

No GBS in urine. Wow, never thought I’d be excited about such a statement concerning my urine.

I feel relieved. Although we don’t know if there is any GBS in my system, at least we know that the antibiotic is fighting it and my levels have gone down. I will finish this full round and then continue on 1 a day for the rest of the pregnancy. Because the body produces it, you can’t kill it off completely, but we’ll do what we can to keep it suppressed as much as possible. The plan was to get aggressive at 28 weeks. Tomorrow I’ll be 27 weeks, so we won’t let any time lapse. I’ll go in in about a week for a culture to test the levels of GBS in my system. Hopefully they will be down as well.

This little guy is an active one. Every time he gives me a big kick I smile, imagining it his way of giving me a high five (or kick in the a$$) to tell me to chill out, everything will be okay. Little guy, thanks for the smiles. I love you!

I wait.

I went to the Dr. yesterday so that they could run some test and see if the antibiotic I’m taking for the GBS is working. After 14 days on the previous one, my GBS levels ended up higher than before I started the meds. At this point, it’s estimated I carry more strep than 95% of the woman who actually carry GBS (of pregnancy woman, about 1/3 carry it).

So, I’m scared.

My results won’t come back until ‘maybe tomorrow’ but definitely by Thursday. I’m scared they are going to come back and tell me that this round didn’t work either. All of the pieces are there to cause the same outcome as last time. The difference this time around is that we are aware of it and trying to fight back with meds. I just need the meds to work. I couldn’t sleep, my nerves are going nuts, and it’s the end of the fiscal year at work.

Considering we were bought by a large publically traded company a few months ago and the numbers for the sale aren’t complete, this is the not best time for my “glass half empty” attitude. My mind is on the bigger picture in life. Not how to handle a customer credit that was issued after the sale of the company for revenue that was recognized before the sale.

So, I wait. I wait until I hear back with the results.

Mount St Mary's

A couple of weekends ago Adam, Katelyn, and I went to Mount Saint Mary's for a basketball game. My 3 older sisters went to The Mount, and I did for a 1 1/2 years before transfering to JMU. I still like visiting, I think it's a beautiful campus. We got there early and had time to walk The Grotto. Apparently, I had no memory of The Grotto. All I remembered was the Virgin Mary that you can see from a distance.

So, the three of us walked the path that leads to the actual Grotto. It's a very spiritual place, you can't help but feel religious when you're there.  They have candles you can light inside The Grotto. We lit a candle for Andrew. It was actually pretty moving.

We then went to the Basketball game where Katelyn told me "mommy, you like basketball, I like hockey like daddy".   Even though it wasn't hockey, I think she still had a good time.  I know I did.

Group B Strep 101

Sepsis, meningitis, pneumonia, stillborn, blindness, deafness, mental retardation, cerebal palsy

I've been reading way too much about GBS on the internet lately. It weighs heavily on my mind these days. What frustrates me is people’s lack of knowledge about it. Granted it's rare for complications to arise, when they do, they can be very serious with lifelong complications, or death. This one girl wrote about how her Dr prescribed her an antibiotic during her pregnancy but she didn't take it because she thought it was "no big deal". I still feel annoyed when I think about that post.

So, to make myself feel better, I thought I'd throw some GBS education out there...

“Group B Strep is a bacterium that causes life-threatening infections in newborns. GBS most commonly causes infection in the blood (sepsis), the fluid and lining of the brain (meningitis), and lungs (pneumonia). It can cause babies to be miscarried, stillborn, or die after being born. Some GBS survivors have permanent handicaps such as blindness, deafness, mental retardation, and cerebral palsy.” Link 1 below

There, does that sound like "no big deal"?

GBS is a bacterium that your body naturally produces. There is nothing you can do about it, other than to treat with antibiotics when it shows up. Even then, once done with treatment, your body can naturally produce more. Normally, GBS is not a threat to the newborn until labor and birth. After the water breaks, the baby is most at risk of becoming exposed. Some babies might appear fine for a few days, and then develop late-onset GBS. Please, if you have a newborn who is sick, call the Dr immediately! It can take their life within 24 hours.

For some woman, the GBS can travel through the membrane walls and get to the baby well before labor begins. "Many Group B Strep germs also make special molecules that can dissolve through the cervix, or the mucin between the vagina and the cervix. Many of these germs also make toxins, which can damage the baby and the placenta before birth." I quote this from an interesting article, GROUP B STREP: A Patient/Provider Approach for Optimizing Care. Link 2 below

In addition, a mother can become seriously sick if the GBS gets to parts of the body that it shouldn't. When I delivered Andrew, my uterus was inundated with GBS and my fever shot up to 106 within minutes. If not treated properly, this can be deadly to the mother as well.

GBS is serious. And I ever hear anyone I know say it’s "no big deal", you better watch out, I'll be coming after you.

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Link 1 - http://www.groupbstrepinternational.org/info_main.html

Link 2 - http://www.obgyn.net/women/women.asp?page=/pb/articles/gbs_part1

gbs update

I heard from the Dr’s office yesterday. My latest round of tests show that I have Group B Strep. This time it showed up in the urine. Of pregnant woman who carry GBS, only about 5% “are so heavily colonized that Group B Strep can be cultured from the mother's urine”. In other words, more than I had before. So, I started a new antibiotic today. The last one I was on upset my stomach so much that by day 10, I was throwing up. For most women, a positive GBS culture would mean antibiotics at delivery. That’s when the baby is at risk. For the few “special cases”, GBS can pass through the membrane walls and into the amniotic sac. That’s what happened with Andrew. GBS got to Andrew and the placenta, he couldn’t fight it, it turned into GBS Sepsis, and he passed away. I feel like right now, even as I sit and type this, I am at the same risk. I sit here, GBS positive, with a history of GBS passing through the membrane walls causing a stillbirth. As much as the antibiotic makes me want to throw up, I can’t wait to take the next dose.

her little mind

I was talking to Katelyn about the new baby the other evening.  She's been through a pregnancy with me before, she's heard all the talk about a little baby brother coming.  I'm curious how her little mind works.  So I said "you know Katelyn, when baby is born he's going to come home and live with us.  Won't that be exciting?"  She said "no, baby come out but he not come home".  I wonder if that's what her little mind thinks.  After all, that is what happened last time.

St Patricks Day

Yesterday we went to St Marks.  Katelyn picked something out for Andrew when we were in Disneyworld last month and I didn't want to leave it at his special place until the snow melted.  We took home the sled and snowman that decorated his place most of the winter. 

Katelyn shook up snowglobe and put it in place.

We also left an Irish cross, it was St Patricks day after all!

She then climbed up next to the niche and played with the little Caps zambodie that we left there.  It was precious.  To me, it was like watching them play together.  Him sharing his toy with her.  She pushed it around as if she were driving it all over his niche.

It made me smile.

nightowl

Adam and I have a nightowl.  Seriously, our girl does not go to bed at a normal time.  She's not cranky and acting tired at night, she's still happy and playful.   Just not tired!  My dad captured this picture last night.  Adam and I were in the basement watching Lost, thinking that Katelyn was actually in bed for the night.  We were wrong. 

Does she look tired to you?

anxiety?

I am feeling like a big mess these days, a bundle of anxiety. I need some serious xanax. My stomach is in knots, I don’t sleep well, and am full of nervous energy, constantly shaking my legs to try to release some. The worst part is feeling like my heart is beating out of my chest. My heart rate is up and I’m having heart palpations. I had a follow-up with the thyroid Dr yesterday. He called me today and said that my levels were still high but not any worse than last time. The heart palps could be from three things. Thyroid, pregnancy, or anxiety. When he called today he said he does not think it’s the thyroid. I’m thinking anxiety. Obviously the baby is my top concern, where my mind and energy are focused. But, there are other things that could cause some minor stress. Adam and I are still at my parents house. Adam is looking for a job and until he has one, we won’t be moving. We have about 3 months until baby comes, and we don’t know where we will be living in 3 months. If we move, that brings the work associated with a move. If we don’t, all of our baby stuff is in not-accessible storage. On top of that, my company is moving offices in the next 3 months or so. With all of that means a new daycare. If you’ve ever had to leave you’re baby with someone who starts out as essentially a stranger, you know how difficult the daycare search can be.

The other evening, my sister Mary K and I talked about summer time. We talked about how in late summer things will *hopefully* be figured out. Adam will have a job, we’ll have a place to live, daycare will be figured out, and our newest bundle of joy will be in my arms. Oh yeah, and I’ll be a able to drink beer again. What a sweet sweet thought.