Tuesday, March 2, 2010


I am feeling like a big mess these days, a bundle of anxiety. I need some serious xanax. My stomach is in knots, I don’t sleep well, and am full of nervous energy, constantly shaking my legs to try to release some. The worst part is feeling like my heart is beating out of my chest. My heart rate is up and I’m having heart palpations. I had a follow-up with the thyroid Dr yesterday. He called me today and said that my levels were still high but not any worse than last time. The heart palps could be from three things. Thyroid, pregnancy, or anxiety. When he called today he said he does not think it’s the thyroid. I’m thinking anxiety. Obviously the baby is my top concern, where my mind and energy are focused. But, there are other things that could cause some minor stress. Adam and I are still at my parents house. Adam is looking for a job and until he has one, we won’t be moving. We have about 3 months until baby comes, and we don’t know where we will be living in 3 months. If we move, that brings the work associated with a move. If we don’t, all of our baby stuff is in not-accessible storage. On top of that, my company is moving offices in the next 3 months or so. With all of that means a new daycare. If you’ve ever had to leave you’re baby with someone who starts out as essentially a stranger, you know how difficult the daycare search can be.

The other evening, my sister Mary K and I talked about summer time. We talked about how in late summer things will *hopefully* be figured out. Adam will have a job, we’ll have a place to live, daycare will be figured out, and our newest bundle of joy will be in my arms. Oh yeah, and I’ll be a able to drink beer again. What a sweet sweet thought. 

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