gbs update

I heard from the Dr’s office yesterday. My latest round of tests show that I have Group B Strep. This time it showed up in the urine. Of pregnant woman who carry GBS, only about 5% “are so heavily colonized that Group B Strep can be cultured from the mother's urine”. In other words, more than I had before. So, I started a new antibiotic today. The last one I was on upset my stomach so much that by day 10, I was throwing up. For most women, a positive GBS culture would mean antibiotics at delivery. That’s when the baby is at risk. For the few “special cases”, GBS can pass through the membrane walls and into the amniotic sac. That’s what happened with Andrew. GBS got to Andrew and the placenta, he couldn’t fight it, it turned into GBS Sepsis, and he passed away. I feel like right now, even as I sit and type this, I am at the same risk. I sit here, GBS positive, with a history of GBS passing through the membrane walls causing a stillbirth. As much as the antibiotic makes me want to throw up, I can’t wait to take the next dose.

her little mind

I was talking to Katelyn about the new baby the other evening.  She's been through a pregnancy with me before, she's heard all the talk about a little baby brother coming.  I'm curious how her little mind works.  So I said "you know Katelyn, when baby is born he's going to come home and live with us.  Won't that be exciting?"  She said "no, baby come out but he not come home".  I wonder if that's what her little mind thinks.  After all, that is what happened last time.

St Patricks Day

Yesterday we went to St Marks.  Katelyn picked something out for Andrew when we were in Disneyworld last month and I didn't want to leave it at his special place until the snow melted.  We took home the sled and snowman that decorated his place most of the winter. 

Katelyn shook up snowglobe and put it in place.

We also left an Irish cross, it was St Patricks day after all!

She then climbed up next to the niche and played with the little Caps zambodie that we left there.  It was precious.  To me, it was like watching them play together.  Him sharing his toy with her.  She pushed it around as if she were driving it all over his niche.

It made me smile.

nightowl

Adam and I have a nightowl.  Seriously, our girl does not go to bed at a normal time.  She's not cranky and acting tired at night, she's still happy and playful.   Just not tired!  My dad captured this picture last night.  Adam and I were in the basement watching Lost, thinking that Katelyn was actually in bed for the night.  We were wrong. 

Does she look tired to you?

anxiety?

I am feeling like a big mess these days, a bundle of anxiety. I need some serious xanax. My stomach is in knots, I don’t sleep well, and am full of nervous energy, constantly shaking my legs to try to release some. The worst part is feeling like my heart is beating out of my chest. My heart rate is up and I’m having heart palpations. I had a follow-up with the thyroid Dr yesterday. He called me today and said that my levels were still high but not any worse than last time. The heart palps could be from three things. Thyroid, pregnancy, or anxiety. When he called today he said he does not think it’s the thyroid. I’m thinking anxiety. Obviously the baby is my top concern, where my mind and energy are focused. But, there are other things that could cause some minor stress. Adam and I are still at my parents house. Adam is looking for a job and until he has one, we won’t be moving. We have about 3 months until baby comes, and we don’t know where we will be living in 3 months. If we move, that brings the work associated with a move. If we don’t, all of our baby stuff is in not-accessible storage. On top of that, my company is moving offices in the next 3 months or so. With all of that means a new daycare. If you’ve ever had to leave you’re baby with someone who starts out as essentially a stranger, you know how difficult the daycare search can be.

The other evening, my sister Mary K and I talked about summer time. We talked about how in late summer things will *hopefully* be figured out. Adam will have a job, we’ll have a place to live, daycare will be figured out, and our newest bundle of joy will be in my arms. Oh yeah, and I’ll be a able to drink beer again. What a sweet sweet thought.