Sunday, October 11, 2009

moving

We're getting ready to move...in 2 weeks.  It's a long story.  We started this moving adventure in June, right before Andrew passed away.  We focused on selling our place.  Now we've sold it, lost out on five contracts and are getting ready to throw our stuff in storage and head to the parents house while we continue to house hunt.  The other day I texted my husband the simple statement "I need xanax".

We started packing today and I feel so anxious about having to pack up Andrews room.  We keep his door closed, but every night when I go to bed I check on Katelyn and then look in Andrews room.  Sometimes I sit in the rocker in his room holding his teddy bear and think about what should be.  I feel like when we move I'll be loosing that special place in our house that is just for him.  I don't want to have to pack up his stuff, I'm not ready.  I wonder if it would be wierd to unpack it at our new place...where and whenever that may be.

3 comments:

  1. Oh Kerry, this just makes me so sad. I wish I could take some of your sadness/pain away. Maybe when you find a new home, you could have a spot in your house that is for Andrew - where you can sit and think about him and be surrounded by his things.

    Do you want me to pack up Andrew's room? I know you are feeling a lot of anxiety over it. Would it be helpful or do you want to do it yourself? Just let me know.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Kerry,
    I stumbled across your blog on Anns facebook page and it has given me strength. Each and every person has such a different life story, yours has touched me.
    This story is completely unrelated to yours of packing and unpacking but its what I thought of when I read your post. I just recently went through the same moving thing you all are with living in a temporary house while waiting for my permanent house to be available and my condo to sell... anyways months and months ago I packed up my boxes and put them into storage. Just this weekend I moved into my new place and unpacked everything. I found boxes of old memories of when Bill and I were together... it was so hard to open. It was like a slap in the face of the happy family I thought I was going to have, but it didn't work out. It just reiterated to me that I'm a single mother and raising my son alone... I just sat and cried and cried as I opened the box wondering what it would have been like if Bill and I were still together, raising Blake under 1 roof instead of 2... I decided to just re-pack the box and keep it for Blake, not sure why, but I guess so he could know his parents did love each other at one time.
    I guess my point is, its hard to understand why things happen, you are strong and Andrew will be your little angel watching over you forever. Find comfort in Katelyn, thats what I do, I find comfort in Blake... when I'm sad I take him out of his crib at night and cuddle him... Keep loving little Katelyn and baby Andrew!!!
    - Erika

    ReplyDelete

Leave a comment!

Even if you don't have an account, you can still leave a comment. Just choose the "anonymous" from the dropdown menu. If you do it that way, please be sure to include your name in the actual comment. Thanks!