Katelyn is confused. Three weeks after I delivered Andrew her baby cousin, Patrick, was born. I brought her to Fairfax hospital to meet Mike and Emily’s new addition, at which point Katelyn asked me, “my baby brother?” I had to stand there and tell her “no Katelyn, Patrick is your cousin; your baby brother is in heaven.” What does heaven mean to a 2 year old? Who knows!! All I know is she is confused. I ask her all the time who Andrew is and I never get the answer I want. Maybe that’s because I don’t know what I want to hear. Maybe, “Andrew is my little brother who is here, alive and well, and this is all one nasty joke mommy.” Well, she’s doesn’t say that. What she says now is “Andrew is Patrick”. When she looks at the pictures of Andrew (which I actually try to keep out of her reach but somehow she gets too and looks through) she tells me that they are of Patrick.
I wish I was as confused as her. It must be better than knowing what’s really going on.