Feast of All Souls Day

Today is The Feast of All Souls Day in the Catholic Church.  Masses are said for all those who have departed us.  Andrew will be included in the Mass at Mount Saint Mary's thanks to Auntie Ann.  Andrew will also be included at the Mass at St. Marks where they will say a special prayer for all those who passed away within the past year. 

I'm still working on my faith during this time.  I still don't understand why Adam and I have to go through such heartache.  I've heard all of the answers...God didn't choice for this to happen and such.  But deep down, I still just don't understand.

halloween

Last night we drove out to Aunt K's so Katelyn could go trick-or-treating with her cousins.  On the way there I thought about leaving some candy at Andrews special place.  But then I thought about how he wouldn't be eating candy now anyway, so maybe we could leave something else, but I wasn't sure what.  I asked Adam and he just drove quietly for a bit.  I asked him what he was thinking, fearing he was thinking I was crazy for even wondering what to leave Andrew for Halloween.  When I asked, he looked at me and said "do they make little football costumes"?  He said he was thinking how it would have been fun to dress Andrew as a football and he (Adam) could be a football player, and he would walk around holding Andrew all night.  He then said Katelyn and I could be cheerleaders.  It was definitely a cute thought.  One that left us in reflective silence the rest of the drive there.

miller lite please

Life seemed different then. I could really use a night of dressing up and going out with friends with not a care in the world except what kind of beer to drink. I think I'd keep it simple with a good ol' Miller Lite.

missing my little guy

I may look the same on the outside, but my heart has been broken. I will live the rest of my life with a void, knowing something, someone is missing. A piece of my heart is empty and can only be filled when I hold Andrew again.  Somedays are easier than others, but not a single day goes by without thinking of my little guy.  I miss you Andrew and simply wish you were here.

the flood

Tomorrow at 12:15 we will officially be selling our first home.  In doing so, I took some time to look through some old pictures.  Last summer (as in 2008) went away for 3 days.  While we were gone a pipe burst in the upstairs bathroom and water flowed through the house.  The entire middle floor of our house was ruined, and as I walked into the basement, I saw part of the ceiling on the floor.  Every piece of carpet was replaced in the house, many walls were torn down and rebuilt, and the kitchen was torn down to the studs.  We grabbed some dry clothes, headed to the parents, and moved back home 3 months later.

The basement ceiling...

Starting the drying process on the middle floor...

All the carpet torn up and starting the drying process in the basement...

Our cozy family room during the rebuild...

This is the kitchen looking into the family room...connected by a kitchen counter and sink...

Kitchen wall drying out...

More of the kitchen...

New walls!...

All put back together...

As my dad would say, "just another bump bolder on the road of life"