any given day

I titled this blog 'any given day' because I could write it any day.  There's nothing special about today, this is how I feel everyday...

The thought that I can't stop repeating in my head these days is that Andrew should be here. He should be here. He was a healthy baby boy. Not only did a full autopsy and genetic tests tell me that, but I know it in my heart. I know that he was a healthy baby. He was so active too. I would often tell my co-workers that I was getting beat up. All of the kicking and moving around. I loved it. It's hard knowing that he was healthy and a simple antiobotic could have saved his life. That one infection could take his entire life. If only I had known something was wrong. It was my job to take care of him and I didn't even know he needed my help. Andrew, I'm sorry. If I had known you needed something, I would have done whatever I could to help you. But, I know you know that. I know that you know how much I love you.